Root of wrong choices

(2-62)

[dhyAyatO vishayAn punsah sanghas-tEshu upajAyatE

sanghAt sanjAyatE kAmah kAmAt krOdhah abhijAyatE]

From thinking about sensory objects, there arises attachment to them;

From attachment arises desire, and from desire arises anger.

(2-63)

[krOdhAt bhavati sam-mOhah sam-mOhat smriti vibramah

smriti bramshAt buddhi nAsho buddhi nAshAt praNashayti]

From anger arises delusion, and from delusion the loss of memory;

Loss of memory results in inability to discriminate (right from wrong),

and one who can't discriminate is destroyed.

Jogging day

I went for jog today. It's been a while since I crossed 4 kms straight, so I thought why not. So, I decided let's pump it up today. I was initially planning to do 5 but decided I'd stop if I get really breathless since I been irregular on the loop. The first couple are always a sucker. I'm always concious of the breathing and try to concentrate so I can establish a good breathing pattern and steady pace. Most people run like a mule the first mile and find themselves out of breath and decide that's their threshold, which is just wrong. Once you get a steady rhythm, you're good for atleast 3-4 km. 

I crossed 3 and didn't break a sweat so I thought what the hell let's push it today. My legs felt fine, lower back was in super shape, calf and feet didn't give bad indications either so I kept on going. You know the great thing about jogging is that it gets a lot of rotting energy out of the system. And somehow I produce energy in bucketloads. If I'm not doing some activity I get all twitchy. Jogging helps me get off some steam, physically as well as mentally. If I keep sitting on my ass, I just go crazy. My concentration time span reduces to a you-know-what. Food becomes less enjoyable - than usual. And all in all, things take a decidedly darker form.

So, after 5 I still felt that I could stretch a bit and kept going. I stopped at 6 kms which is not bad considering that I'm not doing it regularly. Walked back for a mile or so to keep my legs warm and stretched a bit to escape from cramps. I reached home at around 7:30, in a sweat, and did a complete body-stretch to ease off the muscles. Should definately try >6 once a week.

Jogging tracks

Here's the list of tracks I'm using while jogging:

Michael Mind - Show me love

Eric Prydz - Woz not woz

Eric Prydz - Pjanoo

Bob Sinclair - Love Generation

Eric Prydz - Slammin

Moby - Bodyrock

Akon - Right now

Mark Ronson - Oh wee

Rihanna - Please don't stop the music

Maddona - Music

Maddona - 4 Minutes

Spanish/South American commentary = Muppet meal

I was watching the Real vs Rosenborg match on live streaming a couple of days back and the commentary was in Spanish. Now, sensibly you should turn the volume off and watch the darn match. But no, I wouldn't do it. Had to listen to the infernal thing. Well, that's because the streaming quality was so pathetic that I couldn't make out who was who on the pitch and when the commentator identified the players only then I got the gist of formation. Anyways, Real was playing freaky, possesion football, a bit like Barca which is really really disturbing to see. Anybody other than Barca or Arsenal playing that way looks weird. I was curious to see what the 200 million pound recruits are doing and sure enough on 20 min. or so Benz scored a good goal from inside the box. 

But just when I was about to applaud the move, the commentator started shouting... Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaal, goal, goal, goal, gooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll (rhyming along the way). And I was like, what the fuck?! What the bloody fuck?! Since, I've seen South American matches where commentators do this a lot every time a goal is scored I consider myself ably thick-skinned to handle the assault. But don't remember Liga commentators doing this so I was taken aback. The bozo didn't stop though...GOoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaal, Benzema, goooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaal....I felt a strange feeling of evil that I didn't know existed within me. Had I been in that commentary room, I'm sure I'd have blood on my hands by now. Goddamn fucker crying away goal, goal, goal. WTF! 

If you hear English commentators, they go like...(When the player has hit the ball)Rooooooooney...(Goal is scored)THAT WAS A SENSATIONAL STRIKE FROM WAYNE ROONEY...Twenty five yards screamer...Man Utd seems on their way to victory here...

And that's that. South Americans will sing Gooooooooooooal even when the winning team has scored a fifth goal in a 5-0 drab victory. Nothing about skill about how the guy beat a couple of man or anything, just goal. I mean sock it. 

Real were playing well and soon scored another one and the cretin screamed again. "Shut the fuck up or I'll put a sock in your mouth and score one from behind, you lousy fucking cretin." I was mutterning something to this effect. The monkey kept on going. So, I closed the stream and went back to bed. I closed my eyes and felt sleepy. There was a noise ringing in my ear...goooooaaaaaal.

Fook me! It's JD.

I am the most useless, pathetic, lazy and heartless friend in the whole wide world. This was intimated to me a few days back by one of my fellow creatures who happens to be a "too close" friend. In case, you didn't understand the "too close" part it meant he's too bloody close for comfort. How? Let me tell you.

JD is a fucking idiot and a moron of the highest degree and he's a close friend becuase I respect and admire high standards and JD is the fucking George Washington of Moronic Manual. Somehow, JD got the information that I'm operating a confidential information portal (blog) and writing all kinds of infernal things about my friends. So, few days back I received a call at 3 in the night. JD is a bloody vampire and can't stand the sunlight (apparently his skins is not suited to the Indian summer -- and JD if you're reading this, I'll fucking peel it and hang it in my drawing room as a souvenier). Here's how the conversation went:

(Please note that JD has a bias towards British accent and words, especially "Fuck". JD pronounces it as "Fook" and will slit your throat if you disagree that this is the correct and authentic pronunciation.

JD: Sid!!!

Me: JD???!!!

JD: Sid. Fookin' hell.

Me: WTF??? JD, are you dead?

JD: No.

Me: Then, why are you giving me a call? We agreed you won't call me at 3 unless you're dying or dead.

JD: What if I am dying?

Me: I'm sitting a 1000 fucking miles away. Call KS and ask him to make sure that you're dead. Tell him to shoot you a couple of times just in case and send me an SMS if he's convinced that you're pushing up daisies.

JD: What daisies? 

Me: Means when you're dead.

JD: Ohh...

JD: But this is not what I called for. 

Me: Then?

JD: I was just reading that page you write on.

Me: (Page, I write on?) What fucking page?

JD: That blog thing.

Me: Ohh. JD, are you sick or something? You never "read" stuff. Since when you started reading?

JD: Fook me.

Me: There's no need, is there? You were born fucked.

JD: How come you've written about KS and RS but not me?

Me: JD, it's fucking 3 past midnight. I have to go to office in the morning.

JD: Like fook you do. Fookin' writing stories about others and all. I want a fookin story about me in that page and I want that now.

Me: Like fuck you do. I ain't writing about anything and not especially you.

JD: And fookin why would that be?

Me: Because you are a pestering megalomaniac and it's triple fucking am in the morning.

JD: Would you fookin quit singing "3 in the mornin". You used to sleep at 5:30. What the fook has gotten into you.

Me: A job has gotten into me JD.

JD: I don't wanna hear that. If you won't write about me then I'll call every night at 2.

Me: Ok, JD. Give me a couple of days and I'll make you the star of my blog (like anybody would be reading it). 

JD: (Chuckles) Write about that Joggin' thing. Remember when we didn't sleep till 6 and decided to go for a jog?

Me: Sure, JD.

JD: Or I have a new story. Yesterday, I met this...

Me: JD, JD...

JD: Yeah?

Me: Fuck, off.

My head was spinning and JD's dastardly voice was still ringing in my ears. You'd think what's the big deal in taking a call at 2. Let me tell you something, any call at 2 is tough but if it's JD then that equals a fucking heart attack. And I couldn't afford a second attack after that so I switch my mobile off every night after 12 and even then the fear of this 21st century Dracula is such that an iron-willed man like me is writing this very entry about JD. 

Ladies and Lads, introducing the evil, "authentic" pronouncer of "fuck", the devil in devil's soul, the goddamn assasin of goodness in heaven, the one and only...J fucking D.

[Note: JD, I've written this infernal thing. My soul is drenched in guilt for writing this filty description. So, if you ever fucking called me again for so much as a word in my blog, I'm going to chop off your balls and sell it to the gypsies.]

Quotes on Perseverance

The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.  ~Author Unknown


When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown


Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.  Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.  ~Dale Carnegie


Nobody trips over mountains.  It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.  Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.  ~Author Unknown


When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt


Consider the postage stamp:  its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.  ~Josh Billings


The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.  ~Author Unknown


Fall seven times, stand up eight.  ~Japanese Proverb


Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.  ~Newt Gingrich


If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.  ~Flavia Weedn, Flavia and the Dream Maker, © Flavia.com


He conquers who endures.  ~Persius


The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.  ~Author unknown, in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."


You can't go through life quitting everything.  If you're going to achieve anything, you've got to stick with something.  ~From the television show Family Matters


It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.  ~Albert Einstein


There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.  ~Author Unknown


Perseverance... keeps honor bright:  to have done, is to hang quite out of fashion, like a rusty nail in monumental mockery.  ~William Shakespeare


The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.  ~Lucretius


But the moment you turn a corner you see another straight stretch ahead and there comes some further challenge to your ambition.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.


Don't be discouraged.  It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.  ~Author Unknown


The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Saints are sinners who kept on going.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson


If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.  ~Buddhist Saying


I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.  ~Author Unknown


Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it.  I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.  ~Charles F. Kettering


One may go a long way after one is tired.  ~French Proverb


Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.  ~Robert Schuller


Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.  ~William James


Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.  ~Author Unknown

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.  ~William Feather

Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it.  Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.  ~Jacob A. Riis

Time for a holiday

Life's a waste of a journey. Sometimes I wonder what's the point? That's actually a good indicator. When you're thinking this way about your life then you're waking up. And waking up means issues. Fucking, loads of issues. Whys and fucking why nots. So, the only sensible thing is to go on a holiday and take some rest and recharge your batteries to go back to sleep. Weird isn't it? You need to stay charged to stay asleep. That's life. 

Most of the time, I don't feel like taking a break. I've even acquired this ill reputation of being lazy when it comes to adventures. But there's a whole different angle there. I'm not averse to adventures, quite the opposite but most of the time, I've much more pressing things to do. Secondly, I don't just get up and go. I go when I feel like going. People are often interested in destinations, mostly too interested and they make worse journeys to reach there. I'm always interested in journeys and don't bother much about destinations. I like my journeys to be stimulating, and that comes only when I'm in a certain frame of mind. Destinations offer little stimulation, it's a temple or a beach or a hillstation. What's there to be excited about? Journeys hold a different flavor. I love travelling on foot as much as I can. So obvious choices are a forest or a hill. Jeez I'm just crazy about quiet places. Barren forests, dark uninhabited riversides, secluded hills. I'm not much of  a crowd guy, and if I have to go on a holiday to a crowded place I sulk big time. Different tastes I guess.

Then there are places that you want to go back to. You know, where you left some memories, some long passed moments that refuse to fade with time. And you being an ass go back to refresh them to relive whatever little you can. I guess that's what an addiction is. You drink or smoke because it makes you feel good although you know it'll kill you but who gives a shit. That hedonist is there in every one of us and some feel its push more than others.

So, I hope I find some time for myself and get away to one of such quiet places. All this fucking bustling of life makes you a little numb sometimes and you stop feeling yourself at times so it's important you sit with yourself a little while and get to know how awful you actually are.